What I Wish

 I wish we could cry at once, all the feelings. At one time. 

So it won’t torment us every single day, every single month, every single week, every single year, every single moment of our lives.

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I wish we could cry it all out at once. So we won't have to stay awake at 4 am wondering where the sleep went hiding which once was our happy companion. Struggling with sleep. When our eyes are begging to be shut down once and for all, but all you can think of is the dark things that have ever happened and that might happen in the time to come.

I wish we could cry it out all at once so we won't have to give explanations to others why we don't feel the same anymore. Why don’t we smile often? The way we used to.

I wish our souls could describe what it actually feels so we might be able to find a cure for its ache. We could find the core that's aching it. 

I wish we could find the proper remedy for our broken hearts and wretched souls. 

What I wish is that we have a proper answer to when someone asks what they are feeling? I wish we actually had a clue to what we're feeling.

I wish we had an answer to when our head asks where are you headed? What is your future? What does it look like? Or just even an answer of how do you want to see your future?

I wish we had an answer of what we're doing with our lives.

I wish we could solve the mystery that's life.

I wish we could cry at once, all the feelings. at one time. So it won’t torment us every single day, every single month, every single week, every single year, every single moment of our lives. What if we could let all of the tears that our soul contains. So that we won't have to cry anymore. Not for another single moment of our lives. Because we all hate it. Don't you? Yes, you do. You don't want to cry anymore. But somehow you eventually fall into that teary duct pit where you have no idea how to take care of all the water that's welling up out of your eyes. And you know you're in trouble when you realize that the pit is soon going to be overflowing with the water that your eyes are getting rid of. And you begin to panic realizing that the liquid is going to hurt you even more. You try to scream, call for help but the liquid enters your mouth and nose, making it to your throat and nasal cavity and other such sensitive places where the liquid is not supposed to go and it hurts. It fucking hurts. And you feel that burn in your throat and the insides of your nose. And you don't know what to do. What are you supposed to do in a situation where you are struggling to take a breath? And that struggle for breath makes your situation more hurting when it takes the liquid to the internal cavities of your body. And now you experience a pain that you've never experienced before. The insides of your body are burning and aching and you've no clue what to do to make it stop. And it hurts. It fucking hurts.

And you, only know how bad it hurts. No one else can know that pain but you. And you can't imagine some other in that same hell you have experienced and you don't want someone else to go into that hollow pit. Where all you can see is darkness and all you can hear is your own sobs.

You know what I wish? I wish we could all understand this phase of ours and that of others. 

I wish each of us understands this phase and the stage we go through. We all undergo this stage once, or sometimes more than once for a specific reason of some sort, specific for each of us. It might be due to family, financial, relationship, study, career, or other diversified reasons only you can understand. Probably it won't make sense to the person sitting in front of you. And he or she’ll probably wonder why on the earth are you exaggerating the current phase you’re in.

So what I wish is for us to understand that each of us has a different way of reacting to the situation. One thing might be negligible to you but not for the other. Similarly, one thing might be so enormous to you but not for the one sitting next to you.

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What I really wish is for you to understand their situation and help them if they need help or are seeking one. And let them be if they want to deal with it alone. Don't leave them alone when they are actually seeking help. And please don't suffocate them with your extensive questions if they really don't want to talk about it.

What I actually wish is to kindly don't ridicule them for being in that phase. If you are not able to help them out, at least don't make it worse, more worse for them. Don't blame them for their situation. Don't tell them they are always like this. Don't tell us we are always like this. It's hard for them to talk. It’s hard for us to talk. 

You really want to know what I wish? I really wish you will let us be. Leave us alone.

And do you know what is the good part? The good part is that you don't want to stay in this place. This is the nightmare that we used to see as kids. Feeling abandoned and restricted in the grief of ours. The thing is we don't want to be left alone. But somehow it happens and sometimes we are the ones who do it, we do abandon others because those others don’t seem to be reading the same words as we do. They don't hear the same music as we do. They don't see the same view as we do. And this is not us abandoning them, it's actually them abandoning us.

And so I wish you could see the same words as they do, as some of us do.

How I wish that you would be able to hear the same music as we do. And see the same scenes as we do.

And believe me, they are not as dark as you contemplate, they are not as stupid as it might sound to you. They are not as worthless as they might seem to some of you.

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And connecting to such people might look impossible to you but actually, it's not. Just don't force them. Just flow with their own flow and I bet it's going to be the most wonderful journey you’ve ever taken. Just let them be easy and comfortable with you and they’ll take you to places where you can't go with the fun-loving friends of yours. Such people are difficult to interact with. But all you gotta do is to understand them and give them their space to breathe and feel free to share your experience too.

All I wish is that we could help such people out of their hollow pits. Be a helping hand. Reach out to them with kind words and respectful behavior. Let them be comfortable with you. Try to understand them. Be alert when they steer their thoughts to cautious tracks. But don't suffocate them with your parental advice. Know where their sorrow is actually coming from. Be a trustworthy companion and they’ll take you to places you’ve never been and things you haven’t explored before. And you’ll see there are a lot of people to whom you might be of some use.

So what I actually wish is for each of us, each of you, to be kind and observing. For you to be respectful and helpful.

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I wish we all unite on a single platform, Be One.

I wish we all Grow Together, Stay Together.